Fantasy

If I was offered an academic job I would take it. When I see postdocs advertised I imagine myself pottering around in the archives. But it's not that simple. First my chances of getting a job in that area are not guaranteed. Secondly if I can get a job will it be in a place where I want to be? It would undoubtedly be a short term contract and I know my chances of continuing on after that would still be low. What puts me off most is that there are young academics who struggle on in part time posts for a couple of years, then get a good one year contract and then go back to struggling on in part time posts. You have to be very tough to get any kind of career stability and what you get won't necessarily fit in with your personal life.

At the moment I'm feeling a bit trapped because I'm writing up my PhD. I'm having fantasies about getting away from the academic career structure and doing something completely different. Like school teaching or something for a charity. I've stopped measuring myself as an academic and I've started looking at how I am as a person. In my fantasy I have a nice job and I spend my spare time reading and writing. LiL reminded us that Kafka was an insurance lawyer. Paul Gauguin was originally a banker. You don't need to earn money in arts and culture to make a life out of it. The internet is a big help not only in terms of self-publication but also because more and more resources are available online.

I still don't know the best way to measure my life. The little creature in Dale's post (below) wouldn't worry about things like that. At the moment I feel like a portable project. I've spent my twenties developing my arts/history academic side and now I want to continue with that as well as developing new subject interests, be more creative, explore religion and learn physical skills like ballroom dancing or martial arts. Sometimes I wonder if putting so much energy into myself is a bit self-absorbed and pointless, but why is that? If I'm here for a reason it's to make the most of life and learn as much as possible. (I know I know. I'm as corny as an after school special)